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Saying No!

I wanted to take some time to make a post about Balance.

When one brings up the topic of Balance it can mean a variety of things. Personally, when I think of balance I am looking at how do I sustain all the important factors in my life to be the best version of myself that I have ever been. This is the type of standard that I encourage my clients to adhere to as well. What factors might make you the best version of your self you might ask? Have you considered if you are living life according to the principles that mean most to you? For example, Do you value intellectual engagement but end up coming home at night and watching Netflix because you are too tired to engage yourself? Once this process is repeated enough times you end up reporting to friends and family that you do not feel like yourself anymore.

This is a common problem that many of us are guilty of and to me, the problem stems from a two-pronged approach where things go wrong. Firstly, we are so engaged in our routine that without proper self-awareness it becomes difficult to even recognize patterns that we do without inputting time for self-analysis. Secondly, we often do not value ourselves enough to recognize that we have needs that we are electing to not meet because we are exhausted from our day to day routines or because we are feeling guilty we have not done enough for another important person in our life.

The solution is not an easy one because finding balance in the midst of family responsibilities, work commitments, social commitments, staying active at the gym etc. is no easy task. One major skill that is quite obvious is our ability to say NO to others and prioritize ourselves and what we need above the needs of others. This may seem hard to do but funny enough when we prioritize ourselves first we are actually helping those important people in our network indirectly by managing our own happiness and needs so we can give back to them in the way we want to.

Another way of putting this is boundary setting. We are all human beings and we all come with limits and different capabilities. There are often expectations placed on us of what we need to do and when we need to do it. This is a reminder that we can modify the standard to fit our emotional needs in a more sustainable way. Because without sustainability of our well being we will not be effective to the ones we love.

Hope this message reaches you at a good time and reminds you of how to rebalance your life so that you can create your own standard for life balance and gain comfort boundary setting.

Marc Whitehouse